Let it go- It's the right thing to do

Let It Go---It’s the Right Thing to Do
In thinking about this month’s theme, Right and Wrong, I could talk about the importance of teaching your children right from wrong, and believe me, as a teacher I have plenty to say. (The Ten Commandments is a good place to start, and teaching consideration and respect for others is another) I also thought about God’s principles of right and wrong, but I happened to read something in a book that “knocked my socks off”, it was such a radical idea for me.
It’s the whole idea of yielding your “right” ideas, or “right to be right”.
Remember the show Happy Days and the character Fonzie? Fonzie was one cool guy, a biker in a leather jacket, but he also had strong ideas about doing what’s right. He had a real problem, though, ever admitting he was wr..wrrrr…wrrrrooo…wrong. (This is the way he said it, he could barely get the word “wrong” out)
Like a lot of us, he liked being right. The problem is being right sometimes causes a lot of wrong.
As Mr. Wood, our high school math teacher tells his students,
“You can be right, but you’re going to get pretty hungry by supper time.”
My sons found this highly entertaining, but like a lot of the wisdom Mr. Wood dispenses, if they remember the principle involved, it will serve them well in their marriages. (They’ll remember this much longer than how to solve quadratic equations)
Mr. Wood points out being “right” comes at a cost. When we insist on being right, or people doing things our “right” way, we can cause damage to relationships, and loss of personal integrity and witness. We can get pretty ugly and nasty sometimes defending our “right” position or way of doing things—think about some of the meetings you’re attended when things get heated…often, what is being decided doesn’t really make a big difference, so why does it have to be our way? Even if the sakes are high, we need to remember to be gentle and kind when expressing our opinion! We often behave in ways that do not honor Christ! We lose the chance to honor others’ preferences above our own (which Jesus commands us to do, by the way) and we miss a chance to trust God to work things out even if our way is not chosen. We give up times of living in peace with our families and extending grace just to be “right”….which we find is a hollow victory.

Priscilla Shirer in her book, The Resolution for Women, (The companion book of The Resolution for Men, from the movie Courageous) gives us several ideas of how Letting Go can make things “Right”. In the chapter, Living with Grace-A resolution to make my home a welcome place to be, she urges us to give up being “right” and take hold of chances to extend grace and peace instead.
What got my attention the most was the power of OK. A woman is quoted, saying: “Sometimes when I just say, “OK”, the walls come tumbling down. Those two little letters put an end to so many arguments. It’s amazing. Outside of calling on the name of Jesus Himself, I think this is the next most powerful word in our language.”
(My mouth dropped open upon reading this..what, you mean just agree?) Shirer goes on to say: “We feel like our sentiments deserve the right to be heard, then understood, then agreed with and acted upon. And so we talk, and discuss, and quit listening, and run the other person down. Into the ground. Into submission….All because everyone wants to be right. But it won’t be right. Not until someone is bold enough, confident enough, courageous enough, gracious enough, to kindly, lovingly carefully acquiesce and say…’OK’. To finish it. Once and for all. Not because their demands were met or their preferences catered to but because they prefer peace to madness. They desire restoration above discord….One little OK makes the difference. “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.”-Proverbs 15:1
…With two simple letters, and one great big trust in God, she completely recalibrates this whole experience, not only for herself but for everyone involved-those she loves and is resolved to nurture. ‘OK’, she whispers. And in the end, she wins the greatest victory of all.” (Shirer, p.135,6)
So, Let It Go… It’s the right thing to do! (Unless your husband wants to invest your savings in the lottery—I don’t think OK is the right response in this case!!)
I’ve noticed these principles in our own family. My husband is a very studious, methodical person and when faced with a task, he has a definite idea about how it should be done. I am an organized person, but like to get things started. I get impatient when he wants to keep planning and I want to start doing!!! We each think our own way is “right”, of course. I’ve gotten a kick over the years as my husband will watch one of our kids doing a job and he muses to me, “Why are they doing it that way? They should…” As long as the job gets done fairly satisfactorily, I figure that’s good enough. The people my husband lives with (me included) may be a little more random in how we go about things, but we get there in the end. I, on the other hand, have believed it my duty as a Mom over the years to comment and give advice on the kids’ plans, ideas, etc. When they were younger, this was ok and maybe helpful, but now that they’re grown, I’m trying to Let Go and Let Them Be! Bless their hearts, they still ask my ideas sometimes, but I’ve learned they can carry on without my input.(Sigh—it’s so hard) My son Josh called yesterday to tell me he was headed from Manhattan to Lexington, Ky. He and some friends were leaving Friday and coming home Saturday night/early Sun. morning) It’s about an 11 hour drive each way! In the old days, I would have felt obliged to wonder if that was really a very good idea, ask if he didn’t have any homework in his college classes, etc. But, I simply told him to stay safe and have a good time! What a breakthrough!! I let go, (praying for his safety of course) and let him be!
People around us can relax because we offer peace and grace instead of telling them they’re “wrong” in some way.

Hold On-As for myself, I need to focus on acting right and doing what is right rather than being right. Former President Harry Truman had a plaque on his desk that read:

Always do what is right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
How do I know what is right? By spending more time in God’s word where He instructs us in righteous living, and holding on to His promises to help me become more like Jesus. And, if letting some things go will give me more peace and help me give others more grace, that’s OK with me! It may take duct tape over my mouth, but I’m willing to work on it. I’ve thought of a little reminder, set to the tune of the old Beatles song, Let It Be. You’ll find me roaming around the house, biting my tongue and humming: “Let It, Go, Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go…Trust God in sweet surrender, Let It Go--ooh”.

Hold On To Your Hats, it’s Spring
Wheww..it’s been really windy here already, and here comes March. It’s time for some fun. Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with your family by having a baked potato bar and telling the kids about how he came to Ireland to bring the news of Jesus. Legend has it that he used a 3 leaf clover to explain the Holy Trinity; God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. You can make a rainbow by buying red, orange, yellow, green blue and purple lengths of tulle (fairly cheap, or use fabric scrapes or crepe paper) knot the ends together and hang. If you really want to go all out, put a pot of “gold” at the end. You could use chocolate gold coins, or something you think is a treasure...like a Bible.
This month, Let Go and trust God, enjoy Spring, and Hold on to God’s grace and peace, OK? It’s the Right Way.